Before_I_was

Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
Before I was a Mom
I was never
Pooped on
Spit on
Chewed on
Peed on
Or pinched by tiny fingers
Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of
My thoughts My body And My mind.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night.
Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay
I had never known the warmth
The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much
before I was a Mom.

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MaKayla Ann 04-18-01

This page is dedicated to my Daughter Mandy
who gave us our beautiful Granddaughter MaKayla